Thursday, October 16, 2008

Junk Email Rant

Oh. My. Gosh. I cannot stand junkmail/spam/inifinite amount of Viagra offers.

Seriously, my gmail spam filter has 410 junk emails. I go through them tri-monthly to make sure a real email hasn't accidently been sent to the wrong folder, and sometimes for pure amusement. I never open these emails for fear they will demonize my computer and cast spells on anything technological within 10 feet of my router, but the subject lines usually offer enough information to diffuse any interest I might have in viewing them. For instance...

Joetta Kate, whoever you may be, I am not interested in 80% off of Viagra. I am a woman. And, I may be frugal, but I have to draw the line somewhere when it comes to sales. Maybe if you were offering double ECBs* I might be interested. (Totally kidding.) Also, you should be in touch with Vanessa Dolley and Jazmin Lorna who are also in the erectile dysfunction market. Please take me off of your mailing list.

Next, Willia Wesley, I have two degrees already and am not interested in getting a third one via your money-making scam offering degrees based on work experience. You can't be running a legal operation. And I really doubt your academic achievements when you spell dip1oma using the number 1 as an l. Go back to school.

Here's a good one - Bernardina Lakiesha, I DO NOT WANT A ROLEX. Not from you, not from Salina Thao, not from Kathy Lydia. Who are you people and what name generator are you using to come up with these awful names? At least pick one that gives you a normal sounding last name. Come on, Bernardina Lakiesha, really?

Huntoon, I, again, am female and am quite offended you keep sending me mail regarding ridiculously attractive girls.

Give. Me. A. Break. Do people actually open and read these emails?! Ugh!

*ECBs are Extra Care Bucks offered on CVS purchases. If you have any interest in learning to CVS, then check out MoneySavingMom.

1 comment:

LAURA said...

Haha! I know, it's totally frustrating. Do you ever get the random emails from people claiming to be your 14th cousin once removed asking for your bank acct routing # to deposit lost family "funds" into your acct? Wonder how many people have fallen for that one?