What happened to the good ol' fashioned nap?

So when I get home from school and pick up Baby B from either of the Nana's house, our afternoon routine usually goes as follows:

Eat. Play. Sleep.

Baby B has suddenly decided that's just not going to work for him. So now our routine is more like this:

Eat. Play. Rock.

While rocking, Baby B decides it would be a great time to talk. So we talk. We discuss daily politics, if the economy will recover anytime soon, and whether or not Britney's comeback will be lasting. Ten minutes later he is still talking and my arm is getting tired, and I'm essentially rocking myself to sleep. So I decide to lay him down in bed next to me.

He's now taking his paci in and out of his mouth and examining it like it's a precious jewel excavated from a Canadian diamond mine. He switches hands, pops it back into his mouth and then takes it out again. He repeats this for 3 or 4 minutes until he realizes that his face is within inches of my own. He takes this opportunity to attempt to grab my eyeballs out of their sockets. I writhe in pain and he shot-puts his paci across the room. You've got to be kidding me.

I roll out of bed, locate paci amidst a heap of laundry, pop it into my mouth for sterilization purpose (I know - this is VERY SANITARY), and then back in Baby B's mouth. He is so excited to see me return to the bed, he is now running the Flying Pig Marathon laying down. His legs are bicycling all over the place, and he is flapping his arms wildly. He may spontaneously levitate off of the bed.

By the way, I totally didn't put the paci in my mouth. I am way over the cleanliness of the paci at this point. At least when it falls on the floor of my own home. Walmart, now that's different story. Then, I'd put it in my mouth first. KIDDING!

Now he's blowing raspberries with his paci in his mouth. This is very cute and I suddenly feel the urge to kiss him a million times on his fat cheeks. I remember that this is naptime, silently scold myself, and pretend to sleep next to him again. He is not fooled and blows raspberries even louder, spitting all over my face. He's then singing and blowing raspberries intermittently. Goodness only knows where the paci is at this point.

Now he's pulled his softie completely over his face. He reaches his hand up over his head, somehow manages to locate the missing paci, and attempts to put paci in his mouth through the blanket. Starting to whimper, I pull softie from face, reinsert paci and he grabs onto my finger. He's now examining my fingers wondering where my fingernails are (I'm a bit of a nail-biter, if you will).

More raspberries. More paci examination. He attempts to locate the softie again, when...

Oh! There's mommy's face again!

More eyeball gouging.

Back to singing, softie over face, and he's out.

Mommy and Baby B both sleep for three hours from the sheer exhaustion of trying to settle down for a nap in the first place. Phew.