Monday, August 16, 2010

Stressing Out

I bought one of these today. Who knew you could be them cheaply at Staples {$19.99}? Which then got me thinking about scheduling and time and our lives, and I arrived at the thoughts below...

I know that being a full-time working mother isn't a novel thing. I am not the first mother in the history to spend time away from her child and family pursuing a career. I know that. But, it's new to me. And, therefore, I plan to spend a lot of time lamenting over the fact that I won't be the main parent providing care for our son, that I'm going to have to relinquish some control of household duties to my husband, and that our dinners for the next few years may consist solely of cereal, frozen pizzas, and anything that comes in a to-go container. I make no promises that laundry will be cleaned and folded in a timely manner {much less put away} or that I won't let Beckham watch 30 minutes of The Wiggles every afternoon so that I can relax. Though I use the term relax loosely, in that it's difficult to actually do such a thing with four grown Australian men singing about the big red car or fruit salad.

In roughly 36 hours I will be waking up to a new school year and new role. 48 hours after that, B will start his last day of work. 72 hours after that, B starts his first semester back to college and I start the fall semester of graduate school.


Hello, Crazy, nice to meet ya...

I know. Life is going to be insane. But, hopefully, manageable. I'm not quite sure how everything will work out yet - who will do the laundry? grocery shop? take Becks to the doctor? fix dinner? make sure my sanity is in check? I hate not knowing how everything will work out, and as much as I'd like to schedule everything and be in charge of everything, I think I'm going to have to - in the words of an educator - collaborate. B and I are going to have to work as teammates and still find time to maintain and nourish our relationship.

And, Becks, how is he going to do through all of these changes? Will the transition to preschool be seamless? Will he favor daddy over mommy once they're home together so much? Will he miss me? I just don't know.

I am already losing sleep about it all. And my heart will start to race if I sit and think about it too long. Neither is healthy. Hopefully, once everything gets started, I will adjust to our new normal and life will be good. But I still have my reservations...

Thanks for listening. Just needed to put it out there :)



20 comments:

littledaisymay said...

It does seem stressful but I know you'll be a great teacher, wife, and mom!

Ginger Snaps said...

All will work out and you will rock every area's socks off!

A Wedding Story said...

Aww, you will make it work, it always seems to have it's own way of coming all together. I wish you well on your new school year and grad school! We're pulling for you!

Ashley said...

Good for you guys! You rock! Just wondering (as a soon-to-be-second-year-teacher who will probably get her master's in the next few years before babies come along)....are you taking classes in the evenings? How many hours/semester? Are you also taking classes next summer? Although we don't have kids yet, I'm a newlywed and I also worry about the "what ifs" that come along with going back to school.

PS - I totally just bought BOTH of the Dr. Seuss t-shirts at Walmart tonight!! I'm sad that I missed the Eric Carle ones, though. I saw them in some of your old posts :( Maybe they'll be back soon!

Jillian said...

Honey I totally know how you feel! I had to do it ALL by myself, it is not easy! I am so thankful I am not working while trying to sell my house right now!! It would never be tip top selling form!

Nat said...

It will be stressful and hard at times but you can do it, and in the end it will be so worth it!! Looking through your posts last week you're such a dedicated teacher and your students are so lucky to have you :)

Lea Liz said...

Lot's of new chnages for you all and I can see why you would stress a little, I would too.. but you will do great at it all and everything will work out.. God has a plan and this is it:)
I hope Beckham loves pre school!!!

California Wife said...

Whoa, no doubt you'll be busy, but I'm also certain it will all be fine and will be well worth it in the end! Good luck with the start of the transition, I'll be thinking of you!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I am actually starting back to a classroom after taking 10 years off-and I am feeling very similar! I worry about my littlest one who is starting preschool-will he even remember I was home for years? I pray so-and I pray I can do it all...
You will do a great job, because you are already thinking and planning about dealing with it-

Gina said...

L watches a little tv every day. I've given up my guilt over it, especially when I see what he learns from some of the educational shows!

Michele said...

You can do it! I think we (working mommies) all struggle with trying to find balance. It's tough but just try to remember the important stuff. Hang in there!

Stephanie said...

I felt as if I just wrote this post!! I too work full time and attend school at night. My classes start back tomorrow night and I am just overwhelmed with thinking about what all I have to do as a wife, student and most importantly mommy!! This is my LAST semester before student teaching in January, even though I feel overwhelmed I also feel PROUD that I am finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel!!

Laura said...

oh babe... things will eventually come back down to sanityland. I'm so impressed by the big jumps you and your hubby are taking. Amazing. I know you will still be able to juggle what needs to be juggled.. and still be able to breathe. :)

Mrs. Bear said...

I'll share the piece of advice that everyone has been giving me..."Just breathe." Maybe listen to some calming music and make some To-Do lists for the weeks ahead. =0)

Rachie (Walker's Mom) said...

I love you, Abby. I love your realness, your intensity and your heart for your family. I'm sure this must be a lot of changes to take in, but I agree with the rest of the ladies. You, my dear, are up to the challenge. Know that you have a sister down south about 85 miles (just a guess...haha) praying for you.

jenn said...

times will be stresful but remember it will pass..you are going to do great..

Sallie said...

I totally get what you are saying! Unfortunately, both hubs and me had to work full time when we had Jagger. You will find that the first few weeks are hard- but once you find your groove things get easier. Weekends are my "Jag" days, but I had to make effort to leave him for date nights. Working fulltime isn't ideal, but in the long run, your child knows you love him and can see that everything you do is for him. Hang in there! Sending some positive energy your way :-)

Shubs said...

You are a rockstar. Period. Anything and everything you do over the coming months to survive (including a little extra TV watching for Becks) will be right in that moment. Seriously Abs-(because remember-after years of blog following you earn nickname privileges) you are gonna kick butt. There will be hard days no doubt-but we're all in this together. So when you're up to your eyeballs in grading and laundry-and I'm loopy due to life with an 18 month-old and newborn...we'll have each other and our blogs to lean on, right? Oh please tell me that I'm right?

MrsKinne said...

I'm just sending a lot of good thoughts your way. :)

KateB said...

All in God's hands Abby! He will take care of all your worries. Everything will be perfect- you and B will be do a great job in your new roles!