11 weeks and counting.

Hi.  It's been a long time.  Summer was way busier than I anticipated.  A little too busy.

And, in a fleeting second, it was gone.  Like that.

Suddenly, we're 11 weeks from expanding our family and sharing our lives with another beautiful blessing.  He's established himself in my heart.  Growing in my heart, not my belly, as the cliched adoption quote goes.  It's true, though.

{Becks showing how big his baby brother was compared to an eggplant}

In the beginning, I had a hard time figuring out how I was going to live out the waiting process.  Because there's all those what ifs that could really keep you up at night if that's the kind of game you want to play.  It's not a game, though.  It's a miracle in it's own rite and I needed to wade through the waiting waters in my own way and on my own time.

When we were first matched, I can only describe it as looking into a photograph and seeing that blurred "bokeh" effect.  Nothing was in focus.  Was this real?  Was it happening?  It's too good to be true, but I think it's true.  She picked us?  Really???

I kept trying to look, to see what I was supposed to see months into the future.  

And...nothing.  

I couldn't see anything but fuzz.  

Then we met her.  The lovely and wonderful and selfless woman who was making the most admirable and loving decision she could make for her child.  That's when things started to take shape.  

Less fuzz.  Less bokeh. 

For a long time, I pretended that I didn't really want to buy a pair of footed jammies.  Or pick out crib bedding.  Or find the perfect name.  Because, what if?

I finally had this moment of clarity where I decided that I needed to live out this waiting period for me.  The way I wanted to live it out despite the what-ifs.  

So, as the weeks have progressed into months, I've embraced my pseudo-pregnancy with fervor.  Nesting and all.  The picture is really starting to take shape.  There's nursery furniture.  A crib.  Ordered bedding.  Onesies and bottles and bibs. Washed and ready hand-me-down blankets from Becks' infancy.  A bring-me-home outfit.  A first pictures outfit. A stroller.  

 While there are many uncertainties and questions, I don't think I will understand God's picture until the day we meet this baby and share a sacred bond with his mother.  We'll cradle his sweet little head into our arms and admire all of his little perfections for the first time.  

I've never wanted to hold His hand tighter, as he leads me through the next several weeks, and I pray for peace and health and clarity.  For Jesus to be present every step of the way.  

74 days.

Adoption is Awesome :)

{I posted this at The Inspired Apple and forgot to post here! Oops!}

So, we have news!!!!!!!!! 

And, because many of you have written me personally with your well-wishes and have been with us in prayer throughout this journey, I am beyond thrilled to share...

On May 13th, we received a life-changing phone call - an expectant mother was making an adoption plan for her baby and had chosen us as potential parents! On Monday, we confirmed that it is a BOY! We are so excited for the amazing opportunity to be parents again...and, of course, Becks is thrilled to be a Big Bro. Please pray for the expectant mother, the baby, and our family during this exciting time <3

Truth:

Keep praying, friends!!!!!

XXOO

Of lily pads and faith.

The first real day of summer started out swimmingly.  

Unfortunately, I failed to sunscreen appropriately and have one of the worst sunburns I can remember.  Ouch.

Becks has a little more independence at the pool this year.  He's taller and can swim.  He makes buddies with anyone who's carrying around a squirt gun.  Yet, I can only get through about a half a paragraph of a book before I feel the urge to check on him, or before he's calling out to me to watch him sit under the dunk bucket that pours gallons of water onto waiting little heads.  He loves it.  

I remember going to the pool with my mom and sisters when we were young, swigging from yellow Hi-C juice boxes and munching on lunch during adult swim.  It's funny how some things never change.  How a different generation is now seated in the lounger, goggles secured, swigging from a juice box, munching on lunch, and waiting for the whistle to signal all can swim again.  

Becks has also independently mastered the lily pads.  The kids in line behind him must have incredible patience because he takes his precious time in maneuvering from pad to pad.  

So, today feels a little bit more like summer than Tuesday did.  I'm so grateful for sunshine and warm temperatures.  

I'm also grateful for this.

Because faith isn't easy.  But it is promising and full of hope.  It is bigger than I am.  And - even more comforting - is that He already knows of the things my heart desires and He knows where my faith will take me.  

Happy, happy Thursday :)

The start of summer.

I simply cannot believe there was a time in my life where I blogged multiple times a week.  Becks was small and confined and napped a whole lot.  Now, he's big and active and wears himself out by 7pm (and me!) with no nap.  By the time he's in bed, I want to do mindless activities.  Like nothing.  

One of the best parts of our new home is that it's located in an actual neighborhood.  WITH KIDS!  They're everywhere, so Becks has other little people to occupy him. It also means that the windowpanes on my door are smudged up with kid prints and my doorbell is constantly ringing.  It's kind of nice.  

If summer were a handful of dollar bills, I'd feel like I already spent quite a few on pre-planned trips and meetings and things that need to be done before August rolls around and school is back in full swing.  Just today - less than a week after closing down the building for the year - we had a professional development.  Totally the last thing I wanted to with one whole day of my summer vacation.  And, with this past weekend being a whirlwind of holiday activities, I feel like summer hasn't  even officially begun.  

Maybe tomorrow, when I'm drinking my coffee before my sleepyhead wakes up...and B is at work...and we have absolutely nothing on the agenda...maybe then I'll feel like summer is official.  Maybe when I can prepare a nice, homemade dinner and have it on the table when B comes home...maybe then it will feel like summer.  Or maybe it will be when I'm at the pool, reading an actual paperback, and Becks is splashing away...maybe then it will feel like summer.  

Until then, I'm going to pop a readymade pizza in the oven, open a Summer Shandy and call it a day :)

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Never go to HoGo without a plan.

It's no secret.  I have a thing for home decor.  

I love to shop for it, change it out, rearrange it, and look at it from different angles in my house.  Because that's normal.

While my friends Ashley and Treenah were over helping me unpack, they came to the following conclusion.  I like all things white and ceramic.  Tell me something I don't know.  I also have a penchant for pillows and side tables.  They just didn't get to unpack those boxes :)

Fortunately, I also like cheap.  And, if I'm not thrifting it or pulling it from someone's curb, it's probably from Homegoods or Target.  Which brings me to my venture to all things home and good and why it was a major bust today.

Problem A.

I took this ding dong with me.  Love him dearly, but have mercy this kid keeps me on my toes!  When he wasn't singing loudly (i.e. making robot noises), he was trying to distract me by trying to touch things on the shelves. I spent a lot of time brushing his hands away from shell wreaths and yard animals.  

Problem B.

The bigger problem.  I went with no plan.  I was lost among all the home goodness, passing through aisle upon aisle of accessories questioning my motives.  Did I come for bath rugs?  Do I need a 4 foot ceramic apple?  This rooster?  A stone buddah figure?  SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually came looking for my mantle.  But, again, no plan.  I didn't even Pinterest before I went.  

Here is the mantle and built-ins in very early stages.  I'm so not satisfied.  I (read: B), needs to paint behind the TV and bookcases to lighten them up.  Probably a shade of gray.  I will also paint the cabinets white.  Depending on how both of those work out will determine whether or not I also paint the stone surrounding the fireplace.  

So, I bought nothing.  Sigh.  But, I did Pinterest when I came home.  Here's some pinspiration...

 

I'm leaning toward the reclaimed wood box full of hydrangeas.  With maybe a lantern-looking thing one end.  Maybe my vintage blue Ball jars, too? And a mirror?  Some candles?  I don't know.  Obviously, I have a lot of thinking to do.  Commitment is hard.  

Blind, bold faith.

While folding laundry the other day, I believe - for the first time that I can notably remember - I felt like God was directly speaking to me: She's coming.  Out of no where.  I don't know who she is or in what context she'll be arriving, but I feel strongly that He sent me that short message as a sense of reassurance.  

Only the day before, I learned from our adoption worker that our profile was shown to an expectant mother who chose another family.  One without kids.  Ouch.  Strangely, that sting was short-lived and after crying to my mom for a quick minute, I just felt at peace.  That baby was meant for another family, and our baby is still our baby - whoever he or she may be.  

In a fit of crazy, perhaps, I washed a load of girl clothes that I've collected over years of thrifting.  They're not even infant clothes!  She,  of course, might not be a baby girl.  Might not even be an expectant mother.  But, in any event, I got to spend a few minutes folding cute baby clothes :)

The bigger picture, though, is how He used that message to draw me closer to Him and His word.  I paged through my Bible with nothing specific to read, but let him guide me to what He needed me to hear.  

I flipped until I came to Luke 11 - Jesus teaching on prayer.  Verses 9 and 10 stood out...

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks will find; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Wow.  Just wow.

Notice, however, that he doesn't say "tomorrow" or "soon."  He just reassures you that He will provide.  And, so, as I seek this morning, I pray for the she who is coming and how I can meet whatever need she may have.  I pray that I might serve her and glorify Him through it all.

Happy Sunday :)

Well, hellllllooooo, April.

So, don't ever pray to be busy.  Unless, of course, you're prepared to be really busy.  Like REALLY busy.  Like only the kind of busy that can be brought on by praying to be busy.  

Because God,  yeah,  He really does listen to and answer prayers!

This girl has been bizzzzzzzzzeeeeeee.

After praying and specifically asking God to fill my time and keep me busy back in Janurary,  He responded by making my February and March practically disappear into appointments, activities, conferences, work, home, and family goings-on.   

And, for that, I say thanks.  Though during those months I was absolutely saying, Why did I ever ASK to be this busy?!  I'm so busy I can't see straight!  I get it, God!  I'm busy!

So, what have we been up to in the past two months?  

Well, we bought a house!  We left our darling little Cape Cod and moved to a delightful neighborhood where the kiddos are plentiful, biking in the cul-de-sac is a nightly ritual, and WE HAVE MORE THAN ONE BATHROOM!  And, stop the world, there is a laundry room on the second floor.  I've never been so excited to do laundry in my life!  We've been here for two weeks and just love it :)

Hmmm, what else?  Well, my kiddo is growing like a dang weed.  Seriously, I bet he'll have grown 4 inches by the time we make it to his yearly checkup in June.  Y'all, he's going to be a KINDERGARTNER.  Kindergarten!  Ah!  

Still no baby at the Mullins' household.  We continue to pray and have faith in His plan and are still anxiously awaiting the day that we grow into a family of four.  If you know anyone who is considering adoption, please don't hesitate to put them in touch with me!  My email is babblingabby@gmail.com.  I hadn't really considered doing it before, but I've been thinking about putting our crib together in the would-be nursery.  It's an empty room right now and it looks so lonely.  Also, if you would pray for us, I would really appreciate it :)

Also, B graduated from Nash Academy in Lexington.  He's an official dog groomer.  So proud!

Hope y'all are well!  Off to catch up on my blog reader to what's going on with you!

weekend update.

 

I  mean, right?!

Obviously, it didn’t matter that I wanted to have another baby by the time I was 30.  Or that I thought that baby would come from my belly.  The Lord’s purpose.  Now that is a plan right there.  And, I can’t sit and call him and be like, Hey, God?  So, about that baby…  I wish I could :)  So, I guess that’s the best adoption update I can give you right now.  It’s not about my plan – it’s about His purpose.  And, won’t the day that His purpose is made clear for our family be a day?!

We’re just living life around these parts.  Trying hard to muddle through January.  It’s just one of those months you get through.  It’s cold and dreary.   You’re combatting the let down from all that holiday momentum.  Suddenly you’re like – oh, you mean we don’t have plans EVERY minute of every day OR a fridge stocked full of appetizers and cookies anymore?  And the loss of the glow from the Christmas tree.  And the soft sound of Christmas music floating through the house. I miss that.  Then I try to think of all things shiny and new and I get excited about spring.  Which, naturally, leads to thoughts of summer.  Ahhhhh, summer. 

Wishing my life away.  But trying hard not to.

Becks and I have spent our time indoors arts and crafting.  Totally up my ally.  Leave all that superhero stuff to his daddy because this mama loves to be at a table with all sorts of markers, glue and paper in front of her. 

  

 

I’m still trying to balance working out and eating.  I like to do both, you know.

 

Though, I’ve done a lot more eating and a lot less working in the past week.  I got the FLU.  Even after getting the flu mist – which I will never do again.  I’ve always had the shot and haven’t had the flu since 7th grade.  Henceforth, only shots for me.  Flu = 5 days of a miserableness. 

So, happy-end-of-weekend.  Have a great week!

Filling my time, not my face.

So, decidedly, I am going to either get fat and/or go broke as we wait for that fateful phone call.  All the running and working out I’m doing is completely cancelled out by the fact that I immediately come home and eat an entire can of Salt-n-Pepper Pringles.  Thank goodness there are no Girl Scout cookies in the house.  Yet. 

I also find myself wanting to shop.  Like every day.  I could tell you the placement of every chevron patterned item in Homegoods.  And, how much the boots are that I want to buy from Zappos. ($135. Plus shipping.  That’s outrageous.)  And which shelves have been recently restocked at Kroger. 

I’m not kidding when I say that He is teaching me patience.  And faith in His timing and perfect plan.  It’s hard.  It’s challenging.  But, I love Him for it anyway.  I will praise Him in this storm.

I’m committed to choosing a healthier habit, that will hopefully keep me out of the store and the Oreos.  It’s called READING.  I tend to forget how much I like it.  And that “getting lost in a good book” is a rather real and time-consuming phenomenon.  So, I’m stocking my shelves.  And, not the ones in the pantry :)

          

   I’m almost finished with Where We Belong.   My neighbor lent it to me after learning we were planning to adopt.   So many interesting coincidences in this book - from adoption, to the mention of my maiden name, to the protagonist’s love for Michigan.  It was like I was meant to read it.  How true is it to the actual experience of adoption?  I’m not real sure, but it’s a good fictional read.

Jesus Calling was recommended by a sweet friend in my Life Group after I shared that I have difficulty just picking up the Bible to read.  I just purchased it today.  There’s a short and sweet devotional for each day of the year, along with a passage from the Bible to look up on your own. 

Bloom is a memoir by the amazing and talented and inspiring and thoughtful and funny and gorgeous (and I could go on and on) Kelle Hampton.  She blogs at Enjoying the Small Things, and she makes every day living beautiful and inspiring.  She keeps it real.  This book is in my cue at the library. 

So, that’s a start, right?  And, non-caloric.  Plus, mostly free.   A win-win!

Happy Sunday night, friends!

All kinds of no plans.

There was no real game plan for weekend.  Just how I like it.  So, we had an impromptu spaghetti-dinner-sleep-over with the cousins.  They stayed up waaaaay too late for being in the under-6 crowd.  B had to walk across the hall to lay down the law once or twice.  I woke up suddenly a little after midnight, shocked to not hear little voices.  I snuck over to check on them, and PTL everyone was sound asleep on the floor.  Seeing them all snug makes me long for the day that Becks has a sibling to stay up late with :)

      

Earlier today we visited the Cincinnati mecca of all super markets: Jungle Jims. 

Jungle Jim’s is a crazy big super market mecca of everything. Like forty dollar ostrich eggs.  In case you ever need the equivalent of 36 eggs.  In one egg.  {Sidenote: that completely grosses me out.}

     

We bought Becks that coconut.  I have no idea what we’ll do with it.  He’s pretty excited about taking a hammer to it, though.  Sullee and Chels went with us, too.  Dang, she’s cute.

They have an entire mile of the store dedicated to candy.  It caused a lot of internal debate for Becks as he had to choose from a wall of a thousand Pez dispensers.  #kidproblems

  

We had a lot of fun.  I felt like a tourist.

     

The day ended with dinner at my parents house – pinto beans, cornbread, and mustard greens.  SO YUM.  There might’ve been a little flying the friendly skies via Papa Airlines, too.  Oh, to be four.

 

  

Then we came home and Becks decided he wanted to sleep on the floor again. I let him.  What’s another night on the floor?  Plus, there will be a day when he doesn’t sleep on the floor, in a spot I made, with Snoopy and the gang.  And, I’ll miss it.  So, sleep on the floor he will. 

I love having no plans weekends :)