I present to you...

...the ugliest kitchen on the face of the Earth. And you will not judge me because of it, right?

Ay, ay, ay. What to even say about this space in my home?

Let's start with the Grandmother, er, I mean the range. Just take a moment to take her all in. All six cubic feet of her Harvest Gold goodness. She has been through it all with this kitchen - the loss of the first dishwasher, the laying of heinous laminate flooring in 1968, and the installation of the modern day refrigerator. She wanted to call him the icebox for the longest while. She has cooked many a meal for us in the past 1.75 years, and endured many a baking mishap as the result of my lack in domestic skills. She doesn't complain when I splash cookie dough batter on her stove and then forget to clean it off immediately leaving crusty splotches that are impossible to remove. She is old, but she's still a very integral part of this room, and for that we love her.

Then there are the cabinets. OH THE CABINETS. I don't even know where to begin. I can PEEL the fake wood fronts off of them. Obviously, I have not, but I could if I wanted to. What are they made of? I haven't the slightest idea. Maybe Formica? Whatever. They are ugly and I cannot wait to replace them. Don't even get me started on the gothic hardware. I swear I have seen Gargoyles outside the window trying to sneak a peak at their medieval splendor.

Now take note of the counterspace. All two feet of it. That's it. What you see is what I have to work with. Most meals are prepared on the space between the Grandmother and the sink. The fridge is to the right of the brief counterspace that you see right of the sink, so nope, there is none hiding over there.

And then there is the lack of coordination between the range, the dishwasher, and the fridge. This drives me infinitely crazy. Along with the laminate floor. You can get a peak of it in the bottom corner of the photo, but it. is. BAD. Ugly bad. In the baddest of all bad ways. I think the pattern/color is some shade of vomit. No, seriously.

But, alas, it is only a kitchen. It serves its purpose. Which is to inspire us to remodel it in the near future, of course. Visions of stainless steel appliances, Corian, and paint swatches are constantly dancing through our heads.

And it will get done, by golly. This year. It's number 3 on the list of things we want to accomplish in 2009, in no particular order.

Besides taking pictures of my ugly kitchen, I also took some of my Sweet Precious who continues to provide more inspiration in my life than any stinky old kitchen ever could.