Thursday, May 14, 2009

I'm not thinking about ice cream anymore...


I guess it's time for a post with some substance, rather than me posting about my ravenous milkshake craving. Which was, in fact, fulfilled by husband today when he brought me home a LARGE chocolate milkshake from Graeter's, and it was absolutely everything I dreamed it would be. I didn't even have to ask. He's great [swoon].

I really wanted to take a mental health day tomorrow, and pretty much do nothing. But, wouldn't ya know, I have a meeting tomorrow morning so I'll be at school. Sigh. Next week is my last full week of school, followed by a three-day week and then a two-day week. I guess I really can't complain.

* * * * *

Did you catch the most recent Momversation? It happened to be about birth plans. Unlike, Dooce, we didn't have a birth plan per se. We did, in fact, have a plan of action that B and I talked about leading up to the birth, but nothing written formally down on paper that I expected to issue to every medical care expert upon entering the labor and delivery ward. My birth plan was to HAVE THE BABY.

I mean, I do like to plan and all, but fine-tuning details such as what music would be playing as Baby B crowned seemed, um, a little ridiculous to me. Though, if I would have chose crowning music, I think the Survivor theme song might have been appropriate. Because, dear God, surviving natural labor was all about surviving.

In my pre-birth stupor, I planned to be a champion baby pusher-outer, opting for a full out au naturel birth. For me, this meant NO drugs and NO epidural. I was scared that I'd be in that sparse population of mother's who wound up paralyzed as a result of not bearing that beautiful pain. So, like an idiot, and with my husband by my side saying encouraging things like Our moms did this without drugs, you can do it! I went the natural route until I was TEN CENTIMETERS DILATED. Again, stupid.

So, it pretty much took me gobbling like a turkey and screaming obscenities to realize that Baby B would not be entering the world unless I was numb from the chest down. What, you never knew that women could morph into a Thanksgiving delicacy as a result of her abdomen being devoured by alien demon pains from the inside out? Oh, totally possible. Ask my nurses. They were probably whispering in the halls about the lady that gobble, gobble, gobbled her way through contractions. I don't even think it was me that was in my body during that time.

After ordering politely encouraging my husband to FIND THE NURSE, the original plan to go epidural-less was nixed and the sweet relief of the epidural allowed me to birth our beautiful child within the hour.


I won't be anyone's hero next time, and will totally have an epidural upon arriving at the hospital. Not that I have any desire to procreate in, oh, the next decade, but ya know. For future future reference.


Despite the horrendous labor pains, the result was pretty spectacular. See Exhibit XYZ below.

PS. If you did have a plan or do have a plan, good for you! I'm so not knocking them, it just wasn't for me. I'd love to hear about your birth plans or lack thereof!

7 comments:

John Allen and Kate said...

I'm with you. My birthplan was get it out!

Randall and Suzanne said...

Oh Abby you brave soul! I will be requesting an epidural pronto upon entering the hospital. I have no idea what childbirth is like (I will soon) but the more comfortable I can be the better for the doctor, nurse, husband, etc.

Looking more and more forward to our end result! Baby B is such a handsome boy!

Lauren Chitwood said...

You make me laugh, and reiterate why I don't want to have children! xoxo

Lindsay said...

Believe it or not, we did have a birth plan. The main reason was because of my high risk condition and not knowing what "control" we would have. Ours did not include "crowning music" although we did have music playing all day at the hospital. It had more stuff like, "dont cut me unless necessary," "save the baby over me," "drugs yes a bazillion people in the room no." Luckly, I had a great delivery and no issue with my clotting factor. The issue came with Chars and we had included in the birth plan directions for him should he encounter the NICU which he did.

In our case, it was much better to be safe than sorry!

Carolyn said...

I didn't have a plan for my first---just to get the baby out. Labor was only 6 hours (didn't have time for any pain meds!) so it wasn't so horrendous. I did have a plan for my second (wanted the room very quiet, peaceful). The labor from start to finish was only 90 minutes. AGAIN, no time for pain meds! If we have a third, the only plan I have is to get to the hospital ASAP since it looks like I would only have about a 20 minute labor! I don't know how women who have long labors do it without pain meds!

Rachie (Walker's Mom) said...

I had one typed up, but I didn't remember to grab it when I went to the hospital. Of course everything went out the window once they decided that I would need a em. C-Section. At that point, I didn't care how - just give me that baby!

JBCHAP930 said...

I haven't been keeping up with you in a while so that is why this is late.....
I didn't have a plan and didn't want one. I wanted the epidural from the beginning and SOOO glad I did. I was much more comfortable and could enjoy it. I smiled through the whole pushing part which took exactly an hour! The nurses thought it was funny that I would smile or laugh randomly during the pushing. It was a wonderful day!!!!