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Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm going to be trite: Stop and Smell the Roses

Shoo. Glad yesterday is over. I was beginning to wonder if I should have renamed that post: It's a Pity Party, and you're invited...

But, hey, that nasty spell was sooooo yesterday - even though the car still isn't back and I'm still not sure how I'm going to afford grad school and Beckham still isn't napping right now.

The car drama is just part of life. I know Becks will eventually sleep again. And I just have to have faith that God is going to solve the whole graduate school finance issue. Or he's going to shine a huge old spotlight onto whatever I need to do to make it happen. The waiting part is the hard part. Waiting to see what God's plan is. This is a tough concept for those of us that need to know right-now-at-this-very-minute, and I'm very much that kind of person.

Psalm 37: 7 - Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act...

{Yes, the pic of Beckham riding the big, pink snuggle bunny at his Nana K's house is totally irrelevant to any part of this post. I just know some people only come here for the pics of sweet precious. }

In other news, I have tea steeping in the kitchen because it is suddenly arctic here. Like flurries are in the forecast. Is that legal? In October? I really wanted to enjoy fall this year, not speed into an early winter. I'm already afraid that Christmas is going to be here Buzz Lightyear fast and I'm going to be all Wah? 2010? Gahhhhh!

Along those same lines, I recently read an article in the November issue of Parents magazine entitled Life in the Slow Lane by Doug Most and it was all about a new movement towards chilling a bit when it comes to kid-raising. S-l-o-w-i-n-g D-o-w-n. I have never been one to hop on the latest parenting trend (in my whole 15 months of parenting...). I'm not a hipster or a devout baby-wearer, and, honestly, I didn't read to Beckham in the womb but maybe once. I didn't hook up headphones to my belly hoping to influence his intelligence with Beethoven or Bach, and the only reason we own a Baby Einstein video is because it was given to us as a gift. {Though I tried to get him to watch it as entertainment so that I could, you know, do something for 15 minutes without interruption, but he was so not into it. }

Anyway, the article goes on to say that, "the days of hyper-parenting are on the wane...I think the pendulum is now swinging in the other direction. More and more families are yearning to put on the brakes, to back off, to stop treating child-rearing like a competitive sport," ( p.138). I couldn't agree more. There is nothing that drives me more crazy than being a part of or listening to two parents stack their children's stats against one another. Oh, well, Baby X already knew 75 words at 11 months or Baby X can already identify the colors according to ROYGBIV.

Here's my response to that: WHOOP-DEE-DOO.

I'm perfectly content that Beckham does a lot of babbling these days and that unless you spend lots of time with him you're probably not going to understand 95% of what he says. Did you know that a guh-guh means good girl and is what he calls our dog? My point exactly. He would rather walk around tapping the TV with two paper towel rolls masking-taped together than listen to an educational toy spit out the alphabet. And I'm going to let him. "Slow parents give their children time and space to explore the world on their own terms," (p.139).

And honestly, what are those talking toys good for at this age besides adding lot of unnecessary background noise? {I swear to you, Beckham had like four different noise-making toys going at once recently and I about lost it!}

Another good point I found in this article was regarding the helicopter parent. This is the parent that cannot for a second let their child do something independently and must intervene if the consequence is not acceptable in the parent's eyes. While I agree wholeheartedly that a child's safety is top priority, I also agree that, "We all need to relax a little bit before the next generation of kids grows up without ever turning one cartwheel without adult supervision," (p.139).

Allowing our children to scrape their knees every once in a while is a good thing. Scraping their knees can metaphorically be interpreted as many things - letting them make the choice to not study for a spelling test and then dealing with the resulting consequences and feelings of failure, for example. It's a less is more mentality - the less you do to intervene in your child's life, the more enriching an experience can be for the child's independence. Plus, they need coping skills - the bitter taste of failure, rejection, and disappointment all make success, acceptance, and excitement that much sweeter.

Was that a soapbox I was stepping off? Um, maybe. It was just an interesting article I wanted to share my thoughts on. Not to try to convince you that it's a better way than any other way.

Also, before I sign off, it should be noted that a) Beckham has been sleeping for almost an hour now (yay!) and b) I'm sporting some super sweet patterned purple tights today. Try to say that ten times fast.

Happy Thursday, Internet!


Nat said...

Don't worry it's your blog you can whine all you want on it!
I don't have kids yet but I totally hear where you're coming from, why is everything a competition?? Patience is something I need to work on, I don't know what I'm going to do when I actually have kids.

Oh and I'm totally posting my Hills recap tonight!

The White Family said...

Love the post! I hate those parents that push, push, push their children! THEY ARE ONLY LITTLE ONCE and it goes by waaay to fast! Enjoy every minute and embrace their preciousness!

Hollie said...

i read that article in Parenting, too. i couldn't agree more about the fact that we all need to slow down a bit, relax, stop comparing, and let our kids just 'be' sometimes. It's a very freeing feeling.

Lyryn said...

Go ahead an whine... you have all the right too. Yay for nap that are an hour!! ;)

Mommy Webb said...

Ahhhh...that's the sound of me taking a deep breath in agreement with you. Us new mommies have to work to not let the speed of this crazy life infiltrate our families and expectations for our little ones. I like to use early walking as an example. I walked months before my sister, but she is about a trillion times more athletic than me. So there you go. Two words, twenty, one hundred and twenty. "Woo caaa" - translated in adult language - "WHO CARES?!" :)

Abby said...

I have something to say in regards to the first couple of lines of this post.

I'm attending college right now at a private christian university, and I have NO idea how I'm going to pay for it. I'm up to my ears in debt and I'm a sophomore, so I've got a ton of money left to borrow.

Point is, if grad school is where God wants you to be, He'll make it happen. The money will be there, somewhere, somehow, and you, B, and Becks will be totally fine.