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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Postpartum Amusement Park

First, let's take a ride on the Emotional Rollercoaster. Put your hands in the air and get ready for the most crazy drop in hormones you've ever experienced. You'll experience the highest highs (awww, he is the just the cutest most precious thing ever and we are the most blessed parents in the world and could he be any more perfect?!) to the lowest lows (I have no idea why I am crying, but I am and I seriously cannot help it!).

Next, let's visit the Fun House. Yup, take a look at yourself in all those crazy mirrors. What happened to my flat tummy? And my toned legs? Look at my skin - am I suddenly a pubescent middle-schooler again? Holy cow I need a highlight.

Don't forget about the Guess Your Weight booth! This is always a fun stop. First, pee, strip off the pajamas you've been wearing for 3 days straight, and breathe every last bit of air out of your lungs before you step on the scale. The results might actually shock you.

On to the Carousel. This is where you feel like your life might be spinning a little out of control. There are endless loads of laundry to do, a basin full of dirty dishes that probably won't be put in the dishwasher until tomorrow...again. It's not that you don't want to put the dishes in the dishwasher, it's just unfortunate that it's currently full of clean dishes. And has been. For two days. Then there are the bills that have been steadily accumulating on the coffee table. I had a baby - aren't I exempt from bills this month???

And last, but certainly not least, stop by the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet where there is a smorgasbord of breastmilk being served morning, noon, and night to your heart's content. Mmmmmmm!

But, wait! On your way out, be sure to go to the souvenir shop to get your picture taken so you can remember the whole experience. From what I hear, from the many wise mothers who have gone before me, time flies and I best enjoy it while I can - while he's still so small that he curls up into a little roly poly on my chest and makes the most adorable faces ever. And smells like the best possible smell ever.

So I'll leave you with a picture of the souvenir I'm taking home from this crazy place. It's a pretty good one :)

1 comment:

Mommy Webb said...

You are gorgeous and could look nothing less if you tried (please call me in September to tell me the same:)). It's so nice to have a girlfriend who is a few steps ahead of me.