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Thursday, September 25, 2008

A Vain and Shallow Post about my Post-Preggo Body

Fellow blogosphere was a red letter day today.

Twelve weeks after the most painful (yet totally worth it) experience of my life, I fit into a TWO pairs of pre-pregnancy pants - and one was a pair of jeans. We're talking straight from the dryer jeans. Not even already stretched out. Sure, I may have done the pants dance around my bedroom trying to put them on, but darnit, even ladies who aren't three months post-partum have to do the shimmy to put their jeans on every now and then. I didn't even have to unbutton the top button and there was minimal overhang. Praise the Lord.

See, when you have a baby your body does some weird things, and the recovery time seems to vary from body part to body part. My hips have finally rehinged, I think all my vital organs are in their appropriate positions, and I've come to the conclusion that my belly button may never resume it's pre-pregnancy appearance (what was I thinking getting it pierced when I turned 18?!). Fortunately, I suffered only a stretch-mark or two on my backside which have faded substantially since June. While my tummy's still shrinking, I'm going to have to visit the gym and complete a Britney Spears-esque ab routine to make it perfect again. Oh, wait, it wasn't perfect to begin with. I'll settle for flat and firm. And, I was referring to the Britney abs circa 2002 when she danced at her first VMAs - not the Britney abs when she was psychotic and bald and all - just so you know.
So, syonara maternity jeans with the ever-so-lovely elastic panel. Au revoir Bella Band that disguised my unbuttoned-ness. Helllllloooooo Gap Long and Leans! Can I get an AMEN?!

Note to Rach - I MAILED YOUR PACKAGE!!!!! Isn't that incredible? You should get it today or tomorrow. Wahoo!

Also, my house is CLEAN and I am doing LAUNDRY and PUTTING IT AWAY IN THE RIGHT PLACE instead of letting it pile up on my floor. Don't get me wrong, there are still piles on the floor, but I'm putting away all the most recently cleaned items. If I were one of my kindergarteners, I'd tell me to pat myself on the back. And I would do it. Because I'm a good listener like that.

Maybe I'll even make dinner tonight to top off the I'm-finally-getting-the-hang-of-this-working-mother thing.

Lots of love. Hopefully I'm back from my blogging hiatus.

1 comment:

Mommy Webb said...

I LOVE this post- almost as much as I love the bib and blankie that you sent Walker. You know how I feel about monograms. He is going to sport both items at the weddings we are attending on Saturday. Oh, and I can completely relate with the belly button thing. Why in the world did I pierce that darn thing?! I am ready for you and Becks to come to ShelbyVegas if you have any free time. Are you coming for Sarah's shower? Love you, Abz.